Monday, December 24, 2012

2013 Tarot

Now offering 2013, 13 Card Tarot readings! You get one card for each month, with a detailed intuitive interpretation ,and one card for your year and the messages it brings you.

If you wish to review my beliefs about Tarot, why and how I use it, and my spiritual beliefs, review these blog posts below!
Why and How I use the Tarot 

The price is $20! Click the button below.

Examples below, my boyfriend and I both revealed The Sun for January, and The Hierophant for February! What does it mean?! I'll keep you posted. So much fun!!
Really, a Hermit year for me? I've had enough of the Hermit for the last 10 years, please....

Matt is going to have one hell of an awesome year with work! I'm excited for him!

Thursday, December 6, 2012

2012 Review

 Alright! It's almost 2013! I mean... we can't speak too soon.. apparently the END of 2012 is supposed to be kind of a big deal, but I thought I would start my review of 2012 based on my annual reading I did in January. I have used my 2012 reading to guide me and advise me all year and it has been so accurate!

2012 was the year of Strength 8M for me, with support cards the base and crown chakra, and 4M Authority/The Emperor. This year I needed to own and balance my energy, bringing the spiritual into the very real and physical world.

January: 6 M The Lovers. In January my now boyfriend and love of my life, Matt, came to visit me for the first time in Denver. We spent 10 days together in total romantic bliss, and it was the beginning of our big fat romance that led me to where I am today.

February: Ace of Pentacles, Prosperity Begins. I got a new job opportunity working on an animated web series that kept me employed through February and March.  I also attracted a lot of attention with some artwork I had completed at the end of 2011.

March: 6 of Swords, Moving On ... This was a difficult month, my sister and brother in law asked me to move out.  They gave me a little bit of time but starting in March the situation was stressful. I had no idea where I would go or what I would do.

April: 5 M The Hierophant : This month I struggled to find the balance between my heart and my brain. I struggled with trusting spirit vs. rationality. I needed a plan for my next move, and after taking a complete leap of faith, decided to start making plans to move to Germany to be with my boyfriend.

May: 14M Patience : In May I packed up my car and drove 3 days to California and stayed with my parents while I organized my emigration. I was awaiting my British Passport and Citizenship to be approved so I could travel through the EU, and was also waiting a buyer for my car.  I had to be very patient while I waited out the days for money to come in, and permission to be granted.

June: 21 M The Universe: (also The World) FINALLY! My papers arrived, I sold my car, and by mid June I had all my plans in place. I arrived in Frankfurt on June 28 and the next chapter of my life began. How uncanny has all this been!? It has been magical and completely supported my belief in something bigger than myself guiding me along this journey.

July 2 of Pentacles Movement, Choices, Decisions: This month I had to find a balance in my new life. I was overwhelmed with the new language, new love, and my new life. I quickly became out of balance and got ill, ear infections which I never got , and total exhaustion after a lot of exertion.  I had an idea in my head that my new life meant that I would be a brand new me, with no limitations, but I had to learn how to work within my boundaries and still feel good.

August: Sacral Chakra : My Sacral Chakra was SCREAMING at me this month.  I had terrible digestive problems as well as menstrual problems.  I meditated with sacral chakra meditations every day to try to balance the energy, and doing yoga for lower chakras helped to ease a lot of discomfort. This was a very body-focused month, as the card suggests (this deck is great for concentrating on the body), and come September, the symptoms quickly vanished. I still don't have a good idea why!

September: 0M The Fool: In September I started working on art more, maybe relieving my sacral chakra problems. I got two new jobs and also had a relocation meeting with Matt's company. We're moving to the UK in 2013! I had some health set backs so it was another month that took a lot of patience.

October 6 Wands Victory and Success : In October I started a pledge plan to boost my financial situation and raised a successful bit of money to help me with my bills after some health problems.  I shared my story publicly on my other blog  and successfully connected with a lot of people, spreading the word about ME, raising awareness, and finding new friends to connect with in recovery.  I paid my bills with no stress this month and continued receiving really wonderful art commissions.

November 6 Pentacles Material and Spiritual Prosperity : November was a great month for meditation, and for grounding. Matt had a week off and we really enjoyed Frankfurt, dining out and having a great time spending our time together and fantasizing about next year as we plan to move to the UK.  I worked on some emotional therapy with regards to my material wealth and my spiritual relationship to it. I also balanced budgets and set up a very concrete idea of where I am financially, and praying to god to lead me on an abundant and beneficial path for all parties involved.

December Ace of Cups, Love Begins : Obviously it is very early into December but there is already a change in the air. I love the Christmas season. I'm going to be meeting Matt's mom and grandmother next weekend, and I'm sure there will be lots of stories, laughter, and shared love for the boy who stole my heart. I've also connected with some new metaphysical friends which is Lovely! The Ace of Cups also shows up for me when I am very inspired to make good artwork, so I'm looking forward to that! Cheers!

Matt's reading for this year was also uncannily accurate. So Fun! Looking forward to drawing my cards for 2013 in the coming weeks.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Security, Grounding, and Finances

Hallo Spirit Seekers, and Guten Tag from Frankfurt!

It has been far too long since I have blogged for Spirit, (it's been a little difficult since I began my long-cation in Frankfurt, blogger doesn't translate very well!) but I have not been absent from the practice of Spirit. My connection and practice continues to grow every day and I am more and more grateful. The danger of getting too involved in Spirit though is that you can find yourself living very much in your upper three or four Chakras, as I have been doing, feeling a little bit "head up in the clouds", a little woo woo, a little out of touch with reality, and this month, November, is my month of the 6 of Pentacles... time to review my material and physical life, including my finances.  I have really struggled with money since I left graduate school and began my healing journey to cure myself of CFIDS and Fibromyalgia.  I gave myself a year, where I lived off my credit cards and leftover grant money I had been awarded in graduate school, and put everything into healing.  I did extraordinary well for the first 9 months, indeed curing myself of Fibromyalgia, but still struggling with CFIDS which was the original illness anyway.  I had a major crash in autumn of last year, which threw me off my one year goal, and although I had somewhat of a remission in the first part of this year, I crashed again once I got settled into my new life.  Now I am settling and coming out of a relapse and it is time to oversee my affairs, my finances, and my security in this physical world.

In my therapist training there is a VERY simple exercise to see which areas of your life need balancing. You simply draw a circle and divide it into eight parts and label them the following: Family, Friends, Love/Intimacy, Work, Finances, Hobbies, Health, and Spirit. Then you grade each on a scale of 0-10 (0 being despairingly sparse in your life, 10 being excellent).

My chart showed Finances at a 2, extremely low. The rest of my chart was at or above a 5. Family and Health were at a 5, simply because I have been away from my family for 5 months and don't have plans to cross the ocean to see them for about a year, so I miss them quite a bit, and Health because although I am still ill I am confident in my treatments and feel good about moving forward with my health.  So it was very clear to me that although Work was at a 6 (very satisfying, I just wish I could do it more, but I cannot because of my Health), my Finances are really stuck in a rut, and I am going to do a tarot reading to see how to apply all the other areas of my life in regards to Finances so that maybe I can attain more balance in this area of my life.

I started off lighting a candle (in an orange red container as a bonus!) and did a short Root Chakra meditation.  This has one imagine being more securely attached to Ground, more part of this world, Rooted in the physical realm. I'm going to lay out the cards on the ground (there is more room there, and hey, GROUND!) and arrange the cards in a circle as I have them written in the exercise. All cards will correspond to balancing the circle as a whole with the intention of all areas finding balance, but especially in regards to grounding.  As always I ask my inner light and spirit guides acting in my highest interest to protect and guide me in this reading.

This is a 10 card reading, one for each of the areas, one for the focus, and one for final advice and encouragement. (Using the beautiful Gilded Tarot which is the only deck I brought with me to Germany).

Focus for Grounding, Balancing of Finances: 9 of Cups, bringing more joy into life, and satisfaction. The inn keeper gives joy and receives joy and compensation. Focus on your paradise, your bounty is waiting for you. Also, a toast to you for visiting this topic! (so happy!)

Family: 5 of Pentacles, You are realizing that a lot of your beliefs about money come from very old family history and beliefs. Both sides came from extremely hard, laborious, and impoverished families  Generations of coal miners, war veterans, fisherman, and much poverty brought your parents to their lifetimes. Focus on the accomplishments your parents made to create a new story for their abundance. Focus on your siblings' prosperity and new ideals for life and abundance. Every generation creates a new world, and new opportunity for true prosperity.

Friends: 16M The Tower, this could be the hardest to admit, but even your peers who have finally gotten into their dream jobs are still struggling financially. Even your friends working YOUR dream job are struggling financially. Let this remind you that work and finances are not always linked. You do not always have to work extra hard to make the most money. You do not always achieve financial success when you reach one goal. Realize that it is OK for your old dreams to fall away. Be aware that anything can happen, and everything can change at any time. Be present because this too shall pass.
NOTE! I'm  a firm believer in "follow your bliss and the money will come", but what is being presented is an awareness to others' BELIEFS about poverty and money. People can achieve their dreams and still live in poverty consciousness, never awakening to see the gifts and miracles presented to them. Being aware of your wealth is the first step in creating it. If you cannot see it, how can you have it!?

Work: 8 of Wands, Another reminder here that work and finances are not always related. Work is on a much better level for you than finances, and this card shows that your work is moving forward steadily and with ease, even though you cannot devote much time to it due to illness. You are on the right track, just keep moving forward. Right now elements outside of you are moving your work faster than you are putting in. Let it. It will likely mean that the financial gain is not far to follow.

Spirit: Queen of Wands, Your spiritual connection is on FIRE! Answers are arriving before you know the questions. Pursue activity for the sake of the activity alone, not any pre-conceived notion of its worth. You will be honored for who you are, and receive accordingly. Be yourself at all costs. (Going with the notion that I do not always know what is best, Spirit will guide me and I trust and Know that where it guides me is the best way).

Health: Page of Cups, This card as it appears in my Goddess Tarot app always means my boyfriend to me, but it has a slightly different meaning in this deck. The message I got was: It is important to heed good advice now, in regards to your health, and to receive support from those who love you, in any way they can give it. Do not limit your receiving from the ones you love by thinking you know what you should be getting. Be grateful and delighted by the gifts you receive! Especially if they are not what you expect! It may be more healing to your physical body than you realize.

Finances: Queen of Swords, You certainly aren't here because you lack intelligence or discipline (no ma'am!) these are strengths of yours, but it is time to use them in new ways. Change your beliefs about money, finances, and what you "should" have or "need" to have. You know now which ways your past investment did not work, let go of the guilt, ease tension, and move forward.

Hobbies: Two of Cups, You share your life now with another. Your life is undeniably now intertwined. The joy you share together flows into benefit all other areas of your life. Don't be afraid to include his sucess as your own, your being helps him be happier and more successful, so you share these. Every hobby and act of joy you share feeds into the wellness and success of all areas for a more abundant life. Cheers!! (Again, so happy!)

Love: Seven of Pentacles, The relationship you are building is absolutely contributing to a harvest in the physical and material realm in the near future. Together you plant the seeds for an abundant life, and in this joy, all areas will benefit. The material wealth you seek will ripen with your relationship, just be a little more patient for Harvest Day.

Additional advice: 6M The Lovers, Ahhh Amor. I suppose the prince of cups was still related to boyfriend after all. :) .. You have done well to seek and attain Harmony in all areas of your life. Your enourmous growth in the Love section this year is elevating all levels, including finances.  Let him care for you as he wishes to do. Your worth to him is so much more than money. Be here now, you are right where you are meant to be.

This reading has filled me with incredible joy. I don't usually get such a giddy bubbling feeling from a reading, but this reading has been extremely warm, celebratory, and delicious. As a couple, my partner and I are moving to the UK in February which is the beginning of a new prosperous phase certainly with his career, and I need to learn to be OK with accepting that as also my joy and not be so hard on myself for not contributing equally in that area. I know I am contributing in other ways that balance the relationship.

This reading lifted my blue mood right into the rosy light of love.  It's all so clear now too, brushing away the spider webs to get a peak into my subconscious. The tarot is really speaking to me again. :)

Thank you thank you thank you, bright blessings, bright lights, sparkles, rainbows, and ponies to you all.

Now I must rest. zzZZzzz.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Election Prayer

I posted this photo on Valentine's day as a reminder of Love (Chapter 6 from A Course in Miracles), and came across it again today when I needed it most.... when debating politics. We know what we believe is right, and sometimes feel it is our duty to make another see the "error" in their ways, and this passage reminded me to not only give up the belief that I can be attacked and also take responsibility for the attacking I may also be doing myself. Thus a prayer is in need, as I have written as follows....

Dear God, The Universe, Krishna, Buddha, Jesus, Albert Einstein, Aliens and honorary creatures, to the part of myself that is greater than the parts of myself;
During this argumentative time of the USA Presidential Elections, I pray that you help keep me present and out of ego, and help me to stand awash in the light of truth. 
Let me not be swayed by lies or tempted by tricks. Let me see truth and speak truth. 
I pray for the utmost benefit for all man kind, 
I pray for the wealth and health of all men who should seek it or need it.  
I pray that those who cannot give should not be asked to give, and I pray that those who wish to serve are awakened to their chance to serve.  
I pray for the healing of those who are ill, I pray for prosperity, success, and happiness for all who seek it in their lives. 
 I pray that I may not leave my senses and revert to insanity if I should feel personally attacked by anothers' beliefs.  
I wish to be reminded that I can never be truly attacked.
I pray for my brothers and for myself. 
I pray for what is righteous and what is true, in whatever form you see fit to manifest.
May I serve how you would have me serve. 
May I work how you would have me work.
May I speak as you would have me speak.
And OH! my infinitely generous and loving reality, May I receive as you would have me receive!

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Happeh For You

I try to remember to collect great images I see from friends and mentors on Facebook, these little shots of inspiration and happiness can boost your well being and immune system in an instant. Anything to get those good chemicals flowing for a happier, healthier life! Enjoy :)

Thursday, July 19, 2012

New Moon Super Power

Here is my New Moon Super Power spread guided by Tarotize.

1. Super Power : Ace of Wands, serving as a source of inspiration, human kindness and compassion, "most sympathetic to the human condition".  This is not new news to me, though I keep thinking I'm going to get a knock on the head that tells me to be more diligent in my work and work harder, but this spread seems to be showing me where I'm wrong in that regard.  Just being me and learning to love my innate awesomeness is going to move me into my better self.

2. Which area of my life this affects: Queen of Swords, the practical, stone cold, "realistic" part that needed to be told that there is more at play here than the inellectual world can understand. I'm trying to bury my more spiritual and loving lessons by listening to the inner critic that keeps telling me to just snap out of it and get back to the real world.  The Queen of Swords is a woman who has been through many life experiences, happy and sad, and has grown very intelligent in her life wisdom, but here I feel the advice to not let that make me grow cold or shield myself because of the pain I've experienced, but rather use the Ace of Wands to warm up and melt a little.

3.  How to nourish this super power every day: Knight of Pentacles... he is tired, defensive, ready to rest and  rejuvenate.  Looks like my time of rest is not done yet.  My mind is eager to get on to my "real life" but my spirit and body know that it is not yet ready.  I have to find more joy in this forced vacation, instead of sitting in my beautiful garden with my defenses up... that will not help me to recover.

I am slightly surprised by this reading because I wanted it to tell me how I could work all day every day on my art and move forward with that and gain energy by doing that work, but it looks like I'm just not there, that my current purpose focus is in being me and inspiring myself and others in my healing journey.  Sitting down to do art drains me terribly right now, but hopefully when this super power is activated my lifes work will come with more ease and joy and I can REALLY contribute to the world.

This guided reading goes hand in hand with my new Super Better mission as inspired by Jane McGonigal:


Monday, June 25, 2012

adventure is out there!

While I am currently going through a whole bag of emotions about my vacation and eventual move to Europe, I have also taken stock in understanding that this is the moment where all my decisions to change my life are coming to fruition.  My little sister is pregnant with her second child, and while having a baby is a wonderful and miraculous experience, I shared with her that I understand how even though there are some experiences that are wonderful, it doesn't mean they aren't hard, in fact, most wonderful things come about from tests of extreme endurance, heart, strength, and faith.  My adventure is one of those things, but what would life be without them?  Thankfully I am a person who loves and embraces change, is excited to see life from many angles, but that doesn't mean I am not scared.  Game of Thrones taught me two things last season, that if you're not scared of a great adventure, then you're stupid, and that there can be no bravery if there is no fear. So I take great meaning from the feelings I am having, and know that instead of shying away from them I can swim through them, one strong stroke at a time, and hopefully I can remember to stay present enough to remember the experience in order to fully reap the rewards of it.

Being ill has had its challenges, and as I'm approaching my 30's it becomes more clear how much of a normal 20's experience I have missed... but I comfort myself remembering that most lives are not normal at all, especially not the ones of heroes.  Even though I didn't accomplish certain goals I thought I might have, I have also done things I never thought I would ever in my life be able to do.. become an animator and filmmaker, win a presentation competition at Walt Disney Imagineering, live and travel abroad for 9 months with a backpack when I was only 20 years old, complete graduate school and receive my MFA from UCLA, I got to come full circle back to LA and become part of a community that changes the world with art, I had the opportunity to grow up with my parents and siblings who taught me more about love and myself than I ever could have learned elsewhere, I become a producer of a 500+ guest film festival and reception two years in a row, I've had the opportunity to work professionally (with the most FANTASTIC clients!!!) as an artist and animator, and find my compadres, my people, and my best friends in the world in my graduate school program. My tribe! My TRIBE! I found my tribe and am sooo blessed to know you all.

The role spirit plays in all of this is the greatest of all, not because I believe some external extraterrestrial is guiding the forces of my life, because spirit is what is within me that can witness the greatness, the bigness, and the small tiny wonderfulness of my life and my experiences. Spirit is what keeps my treasures the delicate tastes of the now rather than something to be pursued in a never-existent future.  Spirit is what reminds me that this IS the game, and Adventure is OUT THERE because it is IN HERE first.

Watch this space... life is happening.

Friday, June 15, 2012

My Favorite Inspiration

As an unconventional student of Spirit I'm always looking for open-minded inspiring resources... I'd like to share with you some of my favorites. As well as being a student of A Course in Miracles, I also always sign up for the Chopra Center's seasonal meditation challenges, devour books by Martha Beck, Marianne Williamson, and the Dalai Lama, and continue to take part in my mind-body healing journey (striving for full health after 6 years with Post Viral Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome or ME/CFS) with The Optimum Health Clinic.

Facebook is a fantastic way for me to get inspirational quips all day long that keep me coming back to the light when things get tough.. here are my favorite Inspiring Facebook Pages!

Access Consciousness
Dr. Dain Heer
That Guy Who Loves The Universe
A Course In Miracles
Colors of Our Life
Marianne Williamson
Let Me See Love

Enjoy!!! =D

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Sermon and Prayers for Memorial Day

I know this is late but I was caught up in not feeling very well all weekend and saw Marianne Williamsons lecture/sermon/prayer for Memorial day just last night and listened to it before bed.  It's about an hour long but is very inspirational and brings you back to spirit about the lives that have been lost in war and how we can pray for peace. The closing prayer made me feel so lovely and powerful and peaceful all at once.

Click Here to Listen to Marianne Williamson's Memorial Day Talk

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

I've been away!

The last month has been really challenging for me, but I'm on my way to bigger things. I have been absent from a lot of my spirit work, Tarot hasn't been speaking to me clearly and my sleep has been too interrupted to concentrate on dreams. Despite that I have kept up with my spiritual practice, studying a course in miracles and keeping up with my affirmations and prayers, and short moments of meditation. I recently received a wonderful angel Tarot reading from Mistic Tarot which reflected a  lot my need for self reflection and more quiet time inside me. That's hard to get these days but the affirmation was important to have.

The prayer I have hanging above my monitor I read many times a day, keeps me in line with some of my wishes:

Dear Universe,
I wish to live my life with a sense of ease and joy. I choose this now.
Life strengthens me and work satisfies me. My life is filled with purpose and passion.
I work effectively and efficiently with little effort.
I am care free and all of my needs are taken care of easily.
It is easy for me to find comfort and enjoyment, and I am truly fulfilled by my daily life.
Prosperity and luck flow through me generously because I know that all wealth and abundance that come to me will be shared with the world to increase infinite abundance for all.
My life and my work serve the world and give me everything I need.

My morning prayer goes like this:

Dear God,
I give you this day, the fruit of my labors and the desires of my heart.
Deliver to me remembrance of my holiness and wholeness... for myself and for my brothers and sisters.  My life flows effortlessly and is filled with miraculous and joyful experiences.
I do not need to worry about what to say or what to do for He who sent me will direct me. My work is easy and meaningful.  I am open to receive health, love, wisdom, and wealth.  I wake up today and I am refreshed and revitalized, strengthened by life, every breath a new beginning, every breath fresh karma.

Help me remember that I can bless this day, I am making miracles, and that I am of the same mind as the ever expansive, beautiful, and loving  Universe.

I attempted to do my own angel reading last night because Angels just keep popping up everywhere, but this deck is hard for me to connect with.  The overall message I got was a re-iteration of my journey through the flames to come out Gold... well at least that's the first part... the rest of the cards I had a very hard time connecting with and understanding. I do much better with symbolism and metaphors. So if anyone has any idea about these cards I'd be glad to hear it :)

Hopefully if all goes according to plan I'll be blogging from Germany next month.  Waiting is the hardest thing to do! But if you remember my annual reading in January, May was my month for 14M Patience, and June 21M The Universe/The World... so it should all go according to plan.

Happiness to you all! I know this journey can be very confusing sometimes, but let's just have fun with it, right?!

Dream: Calling all Angels

I had this very powerful dream a few weeks ago and a friend asked me to share:

I dreamed I was in a food hall like on a camp ground, where all the families from the camp site come in and have dinner, like a cafeteria.  My food looks delicious but has hair in it, so it is not appetizing to eat.  A bell rings to call attention to everyone in the mess hall ... it is my family and many families and people I don't know, though we're all in the camp together. (This is like a recreational summer camp, not like a prison camp).
The bells ring and they announce for everyone to gather together for an announcement. Everyone gathers and talks quietly. Into the room enters a few nuns, dressed in black in the old catholic style. 

 A skinny nun with darker skin comes straight to me, and she seems threatening but I soften my heart to hear what she has to say to me.  She asks me if I've spoken to God and I say yes. She asks me to walk with her. We leave the room and walk outside, up a hill towards a tree.  She asks me, "Why don't your friends and family talk to God? They do not love God?" and I reply, "The God they have been taught to know is the Devil taking God's name. They do not want to speak with a God who demands to call himself God, They do not know of God's love because the Devil has claimed God's message and name for himself."  after saying that the nun turned into a banshee... a flying screaching black demon of smoke, and she flew to the tree. I did not know what she went to the tree for so I looked at the tree, curious. Up in the tree the branches turned to smoky demons all screeching at me, and I ran, and they chased me. I ran as fast as I could and the demons could not keep up.

 I ran to a balcony overlooking the camp and I saw the sun coming up, or setting, I'm not sure which, it was a white sun on the horizon.  

I pounded on the balcony in a rythm like drums and started chanting singing "Calling All Angels" (just those words, and not exactly like the song but more chanting) over and over I pounded my hands on the balcony and chanted/sang "Calling All Angels, Calling All Angels" over and over and everyone in the camp joined me. All their voices joined me and all the pounding at the same time like we were drumming. It was like a crescendo of everyone singing and pounding together, all repeating, calling all angels, the feeling I had in my heart was so overwhelming I had tears streaming down my face. It was beautiful, a call for help but full of hope. I knew that all these people could see that they were the angels, that they were God, that together we are all God. 

I woke up with my heart pounding so hard!!! And the chanting was ringing in my ears for a long time after. It was a very powerful dream.


Saturday, April 28, 2012

Kony 2012

I am a little bit late on this one! The Kony "Cover The Night" event was April 20, but I just saw this now even though people have been talking about it for a while. Here is my little bit, sharing it with you. I know with all my heart this will bring resolution to the violence Joseph Kony brings to the kids of Uganda.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Fail, Fail Again

I found this article tacked to my parents' kitchen wall today. Yes I am back at my parents' house, a boomerang for at least the 5th time, but always on my way to somewhere.  I realized that me overcoming this illness is not about returning to a "normal" life, it is about realizing my life was meant to be anything but normal, and I embrace that thought. I love creating my own rules for life and know that they lead me to greatness.

Now for some daily squee time:

Enjoy your Wednesday!

P.S. This video of this boy and his serval savannah cat made me odly very relaxed. Enjoy it!

Monday, April 23, 2012

Fairy Godmother

I made this, inspired by one of Marianne Williamson's podcasts describing this scene in Disney's Cinderella as an illustration of how our hopes and wishes manifest ... believe and receive...

Edit: Coincidentally, Deja View shared Disney Archives of the Fairy Godmother today on his animation blog today... enjoy =D

Inspirational Pics of the Day

Found by way of That Guy Who Loves The Universe ....

Inspirational Story

I had a dream last night I was trying out for a singing competition. I knew I wasn't the best but the feeling I get when I sing is very powerful sometimes. I love listening to really powerful singers and today my friend posted this story from Korea's Got Talent...

And here he is at the finale:
Oh my goodness got me crying this morning in recognition of something really beautiful.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Relationship Spread

I am using this sample spread from Love Dove Tarot today for a relationship reading.  My partner got a little nervous about the pretense of this being very serious, but since we are in a good place I decided to "re-write" the premise and use the spread as a guide.  As I said we are in a very good place, I just realize some little old issues and beliefs coming up for me that I know don't actually have anything to do with him and want to explore these further, and he has agreed to do the reading with me.  What I told him is not to be nervous because everything is what you make of it, so this does not have to be a tower-crumbling experience. (He even said the other day that sometimes he feels like I try to knock down the nice brick walls he's built around himself and he's just not ready for that yet, but I love knocking down my own walls, so we'll see if that is reflected here...)

Again, a spread is what you make of it.  I'm going to have Matt interpret for me what he thinks certain cards mean as well.  The cards are reflections of our own psychological reactions, so whether something offends us or consoles us, that is what it means. The fact that even though he was a little tentative about doing this with me but wants to join me in it anyway is a huge gesture of love and support for me, and I am grateful to him for that.

1. Their understanding of the dynamic you have.
3 of Pentacles: Matt said he saw a single guy working a fairly simple job, and that the pentacles looked like shields. Together we determined that he sees that the relationship frees up his defenses, and he still has them, but they protect him freely and lightly... that this is a very light and free card.
2. Your understanding of the dynamic you have.
4 of Cups: This relationship to me is teaching me how to receive the gifts I've been given, the Universe is giving me Matt, right before my eyes, so that I may start to acknowledge myself and my gifts and my accomplishments and finally learn to enjoy!
3. Higher reason for you coming together.
10 of Cups: To finally "come home" to bliss together
4. Their projections on you.
3 of Wands: He is literally waiting for his ship to come in, ie for me to arrive in Frankfurt for us to start our life together.  He is waiting on me.
5. Your projections on your partner.
16 M The Tower HAH! I laughed for a solid minute when I drew this card, and Matt rolled his eyes and let his face fall into his hands.  Yes, I am trying to dismantle Matt's walls, the foundations that he has built, and dissect everything to "free" him, but after our talk yesterday I realize how unhelpful it can be when one thinks their walls and foundations are good just the way they are, thank you very much, and it's not my job to take down his walls!
6. What your partner will heal through owning what they project.
7 of Cups: In this case, Matt sees that he'll get everything he wants, that his "dreams will come true". An affirmation that moves him along his souls path despite what others have told him in the past that was really unsupportive.
7. What you will heal through owning what you project.
9M The Hermit I'll no longer have to wander and teach alone, my lessons have been absorbed and I'm ready to move into a partnership, I'm ready to share all I've learned and taught.
8-10. Steps on the healing journey (describes past, present and future of the relationship)
Ace of Cups (our love beginning, obviously), Knight of Wands (our passion and excitement moving us forward very quickly and the grand adventure of us exploring Europe together for the next couple of years. The future holding the Ace of Pentacles, a huge gift, a great foundation upon which we will build our lives.
11. The outcome provided you go through all steps in awareness.
7M the Chariot ... VICTORY! We will always have puzzles to work on together, but the Magician has taught us inthe past that we are capable of figuring out these riddles together. Even though the Chariot is stationary in this manifestation, it implies movement and success. I am quite happy with that.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Friday, April 6, 2012

Call for tarot reading requests!

Hello my friends,

Lately I have had some really stucky (stuck plus sucky) things going on and was trying to think of a way to have some good fun and shift my own perspective and energy.  Because of this I would like to ask for requests for anyone who wants a little tarot reading! A few things I want to make clear:

1.  I do not pretend to have any magical powers (besides everyone's already natural magical powers!)
2.  I am not promising any kind of accurate "predictions" this is just for fun!
3.  I do not read tarot as any sort of spiritual or religious pretentiousness or belief pushing.

Having said that! I have been giving tarot readings to friends and family for a little over a year, and each time it turns out to be very entertaining.  I have some of my own magical and spiritual beliefs about the tarot, but more than anything I believe the tarot is a fantastic psychological tool to help us get a new perspective on a situation where we feel stuck or unsure. Think of it as a sort of Rorschach test... the ink blots can show you what it is you see in your life right now.  I DO believe that we tend not to tap into some of our great mental capacities that are less understood by science (think "Blink" by Malcom Gladwell ).  

I started studying neurology after my mom suffered a massive stroke in 2005, and that paired with my growing interest in religious studies (from an archaeological and storytelling point of view at first, then developing my own brand of spirituality) led me to see the world in a new way and have some great things happen that I never would have recognized before.  The Mind and the Brain: Neuroplasticity and the Power of Mental Force is a great read of neurological studies that describes the many ways our brain continues to surprise and delight us, through trauma and miracles, all based on surgical and neurological research studies.  Basically, I believe that the frontier of our brain power is highly undiscovered, and tapping into imagination and storytelling with the Tarot can help us create new futures for ourselves.

The tarot thus helps describe our human experience in the form of the Hero's Journey, and any questions we have, the tarot can act like a good friend, reflecting back what we already know, or giving fresh insights into a situation we need a new perspective on.

In my tarot readings, there is no voodoo mojo, dark magic, icky wickies, mal-intent, devil spawn, or evil witchcraft... it is more about a child-like imagination and entertainment.

So if you'd like a little reading, for  your entertainment and for my own, email me at with your question or area of interest and I'll email you back if I have any more questions, or just with your reading results.


P.S. If you want to hang out and do this in person, I'll be in Denver until April 15, LA on April 18, and in Thousand Oaks  through the end of May. (I'll also be back in LA the first week of June)

Friday, March 23, 2012

Rainbow Tarot Spread

This is my Rainbow Tarot Spread today... I started by writing down the questions and then doing a 15 minute chakra meditation. I then picked the cards and read what this particular deck's book said about each card, since each deck has different personalities.
How can I color more...
1. Stability, vitality, and abundance?
     Ace of Pentacles - a gift is coming, it already exists it is just being packaged up, ready for you to receive it in a way you will recognize. Use it well and be grateful. (I hope so! My arms are wide open!)
2. Sensuality, creativity, and enjoyment?
    2 of Wands - you love travel, change, and adventure.  Follow your gut and move ahead bravely. This is not time to stand still. (I am moving to Germany to be with my boyfriend later this year).
3. Confidence, success, and focus?
     7 of Swords - You MUST detach from the projected berating put upon you by others who are not supportive.  Consider your actions and come from a place of well designed plans and intentions.
(My caretakers and family have withdrawn emotional support and resources, and have haunted me with their expectations)
4. Relationship Harmony, Empathy, and Compassion?
    4 of Pentacles - Always be generous in whatever way you can, but also hold to your heart the resources you need to survive and thrive.  Learn from those who have been blinded by material greed. (Learning from my family's inability/ unwillingness to support me any longer).
5. Integrity, creative expression, and active listening?
    Queen of Cups - Fill your heart and words with love and inspiration. Let others learn from their mistakes, give them time and quietude, and tend to the needs of your heart.
6. Stillness, Clarity of Vision, and psychic power?
    13M Death - Let there be room for everything I know and understand to die, change, and transform. Allow myself to die and be reborn every day.
7. Oneness, Unconditional Love, and Bliss?
    King of Cups - Seek creative outlet and nurture your emotions. Manifest workable solutions from the heart, and you will without a doubt succeed in business, relationships, and life satisfaction. There is so much joy to be had!

I got an overall feeling of real sadness to this reading, in each picture there were dark clouds or looming mourning.  I picked one more card asking "How can I amp all this up for more HAPPY?"
9 of Pentacles - Achieve luxury by your own accomplishments. You can share your life with another because your inner world is hugely rich and beautiful (I am so ready to begin sharing my life with my boyfriend.)

I then went into meditation again and immediately saw a beam of light come into my room where my spirit guide (a merge of three James' in my mother's family) walk straight to my reading and point to the Death card. He told me to hold it in my hand and I did. I said, "Yes I know, I am so ready for change, I embrace the shift! I am completely ready for transformation!" and he shook his head and implied " This is so much more than your personal transformation, this is a shift and change much much bigger than you.  I then asked him "How do I get to the 9 of Pentacles?" and he said "You're already on your way, but right now you need to let the world nourish you." Then he sat and connected our third eyes with a beam of light. He pointed to the king of cups and said that it is not me, it is a condition. It is maybe a man who will meet death and produce the gift of the ace of pentacles.  I don't think it is a literal death but I don't know. I see it as being a man who has wealth of life but a yearning to shift things and make a transformation and share his wealth, but overall it reminds me of the much larger human condition.
Then he left letting me know I was always divinely protected and guided.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The Lesson

The Lesson
An exercise in discovering your driving powers
Starring Dumbledalf the wizard and Gwarp the lizard.
Gwarp: Get Real. The real world is out there and you are totally unprepared. It will hit you like a bus and destroy you.
Dumbledalf: The Real World? Where is this real world? Where are we now? Here we are. I think we’re here.
Gwarp: Nooo… the REAL world is where the real pain is. Work is hard. Life is hard. Money is hard to come by. Suffering is par for the course. You have to Give something to Get something.
Dumbledalf: Where have we been then? Are we now presently suspended in non reality? Aren’t we in a place where overcoming suffering is even more prevalent? Where generosity and miracles occur? Jenny, life is generous and abundant. Life and work are not here, not created to deplete you. They are here to help you to expand, to grow, and to shine brighter than ever before.
Gwarp: Oh sure! But you can’t just live off of dreams! You need money to survive, and you can’t get that by simply shining brightly.
Dumbledalf: Why not? The universe is infinitely abundant. There are no restrictions to where wealth and beauty and happiness can flow. The universe wants you to be fulfilled, useful, successful, healthy, and exuberant. You just need to trust that everything ever created wants this for you, and know that you are supported.
Gwarp: How can she be supported when everyone is telling her to “get real”, when the examples she has seen shows only turmoil, emotional and physical pain and suffering, and great loss after decades of toil?
Dumbledalf: It is important to recognize the suffering as the suffering itself, not the conditions that created it, and not the situations that were tied by the emotions. The real suffering was in the emotion, not the condition or circumstance. Jenny, your favorite heroes are successful because they flow with what they are meant to do, what fulfills their soul, what makes them “happy”.
Gwarp: What if she doesn’t have a purpose? What if God forgot to give her a mission while on this earth? What if she is a mistake, wandering pointlessly?
Dumbledalf: Existence itself is the purpose. Existence in itself is the way the universe expands and fulfills its’ mission. Your dharma is to live. Simply being is enough. In simply being the rest will guide you.
Gwarp: Well life has already proved to Jenny that she just can’t handle it. She’s tried every kind of job, every kind of situation, even work she “loves” and she still is exhausted and sick. Shouldn’t the right job just cure her?
Dumbledalf: It is important to separate the Reason with the Condition. God is not what happens to us, it is what gets us through what happens. The Conditions of the world are not in our control, but God and Peace are there to guide us through all conditions with love, so that we are fulfilled.
Gwarp: I still think if she just got on the right path, if she did the right thing, she’d be instantly cured. She’s sick because she’s done something wrong.
Dumbledalf: The illness is a Condition of the World. The illness is not God’s way of punishing her. She is not wrong. Peace and Love will get her through this challenge, moment by moment. In this way, she is open to Miracles. In this way she is open to Healing.
Gwarp: but if she just TRIED hard enough..
Dumbledalf: Resistance is what moves us away from our Source. She has fought hard to convince herself and others of some “proof”, some tangible thing that will validate her experience. There is no such thing. She is validated in every breath. She is validated just in being alive. She is worthy simply because she exists.
Gwarp: But still… kind of a waste of space, no?
Dumbledalf: The universe is infinite. There is no such thing as a waste of space.
Gwarp: but in the REAL world…
Dumbledalf: Where is this “real world”? What is this place?
Gwarp: … er…..
Dumbledalf: Worth and Success, no matter what your fellow humans may say, are not measured by dollars ,or job titles, or marriages, or material things. What matters above all else, is your peace, your happiness, because your existence literally is creating the world in real time. Your Worth is Infinite. Your Worth is more than one million dollars per cell in your body. Your Worth is the entire Worth of the Universe.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Little Bodhi', melt my heart!

True love is the desire to maintain the happiness of all beings impartially, regardless of whether we like them or not.
Ling Rinpoche

I have not posted for a while and need a little good Karma... I'm sick(got a yucky cold!), totally broke, and my family in all aspects is stretched thin "like butter spread over too much bread" (Tolkein).  I feel quite at peace in the eye of the storm, but pray for the wheel of dharma to keep on turning. Fill what is empty, and empty what is full.  Big changes are coming for me in the next few months, and while I am so excited and relish the thought of where I'll be sitting in 3 months time, I also pray so much for the happiness of those who surround me, and wish so much for their dreams and prosperity to come to fruition. 

Dear God,
Please open all our hearts and our minds to your infinite, universal prosperity and abundance.
We surrender to you all our debts, karmic and material, and we surrender to you all our wealth, karmic and material.  Open us up to receive abundantly. Allow your prosperity to flow through us in ways that serve the world.

Anything that does not allow the beauty and generous fertility of the universe to flow through us, will we destroy and un-create that now? 
Right and wrong, good and bad, pod poc, all nines, shorts, boys, and beyonds.

Thank you.

A great book on eliminating old and negative thought patterns and beliefs, with exercises to open you up to receive from the Universe in every aspect.

A really lovely and entertaining documentary on another way of looking at science, health, and our connection to things beyond our bodies and minds.

My favorite resource for tarot advice and learning.

This weekend is the Denver Metaphysical Fair , I am really hoping I get to go at some point, I would love to be surrounded by like minds! Just putting it out there, Universe!

Namaste to all. 

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Tower is Crumbling once again

How is it my life seems to have so many dramatic turning points? Nothing is a smooth transition! I like to think this is because I'm the kind of person who loves change and loves to embrace a challenge.  Unfortunately, it is also extremely stressful!

Let me give you a basic rundown:  I'm running out of time and resources to live the life I currently am.  My family has been generously taking care of me over the last 6 years since I first got ill, and while I've been thrilled at the way my career has been unfolding it is still not enough, material wise, to allow me to support myself while I am ill. I have a deadline to get out of the house I am currently in, and am at the bottom of the barrel, financially.  My loving and doting boyfriend has offered with great joy to host me... however... he lives 5000+ miles away, in Germany.  Were he anywhere in the US or Canada, I'd hop right on over, but Germany gives me pause.. it is SO FAR AWAY and so very very different.

SO I have a few options for moving forward with my life, most of which are big catalysts for change, the biggest one being to move to Germany.  A month or two ago I spoke to my psychic and he advised me to stay in Denver while I continue to develop my career, and then in a couple years, he said, he could see me in Europe.  However, as time goes by, hopping over to Germany sounds more and more appealing.

I did a Goddess Circle spread to see if I could get any big yes' or no's toward a big old move to another country.
1. The talents offered (or the foundation of this question) is 6M Love.  This isn't surprising because I'll be moving to be with someone who loves me, and it is the quintessential card for Choice, especially when lover is involved.
2. Support for this query is the Queen of Wands, the same fiery mother that came to Matt and myself during our Valentine's reading when we asked what our strength together was.  The support and passion will help us get through the nitty gritty details of something as complicated as an international move.
3. People who surround you right now: Prince of Cups, my card for Matt, the Prince who invites a potion for love. That's not surprising.
4. Ways others encourage and support you is the Queen of Swords. This reminds me of my sister who was the one who said to me yesterday "If I was you, I would move to Germany." My sister is the personification of intellect and measured choices. She is based in practicality and I was surprised and delighted when she said this, and when she did that's when I realized maybe this is something I could actually do.
5. The opportunities of the moment: Ace of Cups... another support for Love. Diving guidance in inspiration. If there was a leap of faith anywhere, this is the card. This is the time for me to use my intuition and feelings and listen to the muses.
6. Hopes and Concerns 8M (In this deck it is Justice), not surprising my concerns and stress come from de-tangling the details of immigration, travel, how to do everything lawfully and not feel like I'm running away from any obligations here.
7. Higher Purpose of this query/journey: 9 of Pentacles, finding the life I desire that is comfortable, beautiful, full of love and joy, bountiful, and beneficial to all parties included.
8. Guidance for the near future: Queen of Cups... Feel the joy, beauty and grace in this situation. You are blessed. Live up to your highest artistic and loving standards!

Three Queens.. I need to be the Queen and ruler of my own life!

Well I think this reading is a giant YES reading, but I still have so many questions and trepidation. I'm sure it will all be figured out in time.

I JUST NEED TO BREATHE and do my very best moving forward.

If any of you reading this feel like offering guidance, I will gladly accept it!

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

My brand of spirituality...

A little background: My dad was raised by a depression-era orthodox Christian community. My grandfather was a preacher, and from what I understand, a very loveless man.  My dad was taught to have constant guilt, fear, not to question, and to dedicate his life to ideals that made no sense to him. He seperated himself from the church when he was 13, but even when I was growing up we received mail at Christmas from his former Christian community condemning us to an eternity in hell, because we did not go to church on Sundays. In addition to this, there was a phase in my teen years where my peers would go to "Bible Study" and spend the night licking peanut butter off each others' faces and going away for co-ed ski trips which always led to coming back after Christmas break to hear of all the hook ups that happened over their Christian holiday (not that there is anything WRONG with peanut butter licking and hook ups, FUN! But then they came back calling ME the heathen....) So for me, religion had always been thoroughly confusing, hypocritical, mean, demeaning, disgusting, and hurtful.  My parents raised us to be charitable and kind, open minded and loving, and yet we were still the ones being pegged as "Evil".

I have always, however, been a very spiritual person. I have a big imagination, and have held on to a bit of that child-like wonder about the world, which has served me extremely well.  I have experienced some major hardships in the last 7 years, including my mom suffering severe brain damage, and then myself falling very ill 6 years ago and still working on recovery.  In that time, I found the teachings of the Dalai Lama to be extremely helpful, like a big warm hug that lit up places in my heart that had been quiet for a long time (a feeling I know that can be related to those who "find Jesus", in a real, authentic sense).   And here is the rest that I explained to my boyfriend:

I know seeing  a prayer can be easily confused with religion, but it is not religious.  While for a long time the words God and Jesus etc were like bad words to me, they have come to have new meaning for me, in a non-religious sense. Now they represent things just like Martin Luther King Jr, or George Washington, or Ghandi, or Mother Teresa or even Steve Jobs... I mean Jesus especially, and God is the spirit of those people that made them so damn good at what they did. 

I believe we have powers way beyond our understanding, and that the universe (literally) functions on many levels we can't measure with numbers for now, and in mysterious ways that we can. For example... a group of scientists set up a bunch of computers around the world which generated random sequences of numbers.  They would watch the data and saw that after a major event, like 9/11 attacks, and the Japanese earthquake/Tsunami, the computer stopped generating random numbers, and instead, generated sequences of non-random numbers. Group Think, including group meditation, (and prayer) can literally change the sequence of events, the order of randomness, and in turn, molecular organization, even at an atomic level.

Meditation, for example, is practiced by millions of people all over the world who aren't even spiritual. This is because it has major proven health and psychological benefits journaled by the medical field and science.  Meditation literally regenerates the brain, creating new grey matter, and eliminating dead matter.  It also LITERALLY re-sets the body systems, so they reset, even if just for a moment, to their normal and most optimal functioning levels.

I think religions can be harmful group systems, but they are all based on this awareness of something bigger than ourselves. They're aware of community and the power of people in numbers. The human species would never have survived the ages without community, because we're pretty wimpy creatures.  In order for a community to function, certain beliefs and rules had to be created to ensure some sort of cooperation and peace. We're now at an age where that is being tested to the other spectrum of the pendulum, where it is becoming absolutely essential to accept ALL beliefs and ways of being, otherwise our world is going to go up in a nuclear war! BOO!
Not all religious practitioners function on a dangerous level, I have seen a lot of people really thrive in a religious community, but spiritual power can also be tempting to misuse and to judge others, and at it's worse, find cause for ending their existence.

I have a whole book of prayers I have written, wishes and affirmations for myself, for my life, and for the world as a whole. Cultivating peace and desires is very much all about setting goals and intentions, and that is what my prayers are.  When you start out the day looking for all things red, you see a lot of red in your day. When you start your day off with reminders of gratitude, love, and peace, you life is filled up more with those things.  It's the primal part of our brain that goes hunting for the right food.  When you go to the store and there is a shelf of 100 different kinds of shampoo, your brain hones in and locks in on "your brand" because it is an efficient way of "hunting". Otherwise your brain is using a hell of a lot of energy to try to figure out what to get (why it is so overwhelming to shop in a foreign country or to shop for a new way of eating). So there is a lot in your life that you never even see because you are honed in on one set of ideas.  I find that "spirituality" opens my mind up to a lot of possibilities I never even dreamed of, and makes me even more aware of other opportunities, more creativity, more ways of solving problems.

 I don't believe there is a man in the sky conducting our whims and tragedies, but I do believe in a reality that we do not understand, I believe very strongly that precisely because we are human beings, we are not possibly capable of ever truly understanding the full possibilities of everything that goes on in the universe.  We are just one little spec of the giant and infinite happenings going on just outside our atmosphere, and I respect that hugeness. 

My beliefs also stem from great literature, even fairy tales, because I really believe that metaphors are a really really powerful way to explain ideas that we are total knuckleheads at trying to explain with our own words.  Lord of the Rings, for example, is a perfect metaphor for our internal battles with our own personal evils, and a tale for finding our own personal courage.  Anime has been a really great find for me too, because especially Miyazaki, explores a lot of spiritual aspects that we're too afraid to explore in America because of how "weird" or "politically incorrect" it could be. Miyazaki is obsessed with nature, and the power in nature, and the power of spirit and personal strength.  That is just one ideal that has been kind of squashed out from western thinking because it "opposes" ideas of a feared and all-powerful Christian God which a lot of numb-skulls still think is a useful way of seeing the world. (Not that all Christians are this way, certainly not! Many Christians DO find their spirit and love in nature.)

 My way of believing and thinking I believe is the ACTUAL reality, because we are beings powerful beyond our imagination, and this is my way of harnessing that power, if even a little bit.

P.S. If you are at all interested in starting a meditation practice, no spiritual or religious interest necessary! Good for your health, creativity, concentration, sign up for 21 days of free guided meditations through the Chopra Center... the first day was yesterday, but you have access to all 21 days throughout the event. Enjoy!!!
( link : )
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